True Blue

Seasons Greetings Bah Humbug

2007-12-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

"Dontcha" just love this time of Year "To Tip or not to Tip", That is the Question ?
Why is it when Christmas is looming, all these people seem to think it is a God given right to receive a Tip from their employers ? We`ve had each one of them hanging around waiting, expectantly, well, this year they`re going to wait a long time . I know, each year we say this but, usually end up stuffing some notes into a Christmas Card and thrusting it into an expectant hand.
This just not going to happen this year. Do you hear, It is Just Not Going to Happen !

Success to Date.......

The Window Cleaner. (Peeping Tom)..Gave him a bucket of hot water and dashed off out....Wishing him Merry Christmas as we reversed off the Drive..... Result £10. saved.. Well at least he could warm his hands in the hot water, anyway he supports Liverpool FC.

The Milkman... Purveyor of Dairy Produce. Gave him and his assistant £5. each. (I`d had a couple of G+T`s when he called)....Oops...£10. spent Ok, so They`ve both got kids.

The Binmen.... Waste Disposal Officers... Gave them a tip..verbal.."Stop leaving the bloody empty bins behind my parked car, particularly when I`m in a rush to go out!... Result £10.saved

The Cleaner... Domestic Appliances Facillitator....Sorted ! Box of Chocolates and bottle of Wine, which I had in. so no cost, well they were only slightly out of date!....Result.

The Gardener... Green God.. Told him to Sod Off (Gedit ? Sod off..gardener) Ho Ho Darling Trubes gave him a bottle of Scotch.(one of his so no cost to moi!)...Result

The Hair Dresser... Style Director. £25. Gift vouchers, well she`s just had a baby and I am quite fond of her..

Therfore I spent £35. and saved £40. Normally spend £50. so therefore, overall saving of £15. Must improve on that next year. Any ideas ?

Merry Christmas to all my blogging chums and a very Happy and Peaceful New Year

love Di. xxx

Take the High Road

2007-11-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

Darling Trubes and I often go up to Bonnie Scotland for a Holiday. On one of these memorable trips we were on a small Ferry crossing Loch Lihne to a place called Strontian on the Ardnamurchan Peninsula. When I say Ferry, the boat was more like a large Raft with sides which you drive on at the back and drive off at the front , with little room for manoeuvre. Al this was efficiently executed under the strict control of the Captain.
Whilst we were sitting in the car, waiting to disembark a "Prat Thing", in huge Audi Estate, complete with Shinning, Top of the Range Mountain Bikes strapped to the boot. He was sporting designer "shades" on top of "numb skull" even though it was absolutely chucking it down with rain. He revved and revved his motor impatiently, thus attempting to disembark first. As there were about 30 vehicles on board in parallel lines of three, the first vehicle to board was the first vehicle to disembark, under the orders of the Captain and (not to be messed with) burly Crew. "Mmm" thought trubes to herself, "I bet those boys look cute in their Highland Regalia". However, I digress ! "Pratt Thing" started revving up again and tried to move , not to be, Och no, the strapping Crewmen surrounded his Audi whilst the captain directed the rest of the motorists off before him and gave DT and I a "Twinkly Eyed Wink". Needless to sat "Prat Thing" was furious !

The Ardnamurchan Peninsular has one long undulating main road, that edges the Loch to our destination, the village of Strontian, and a few other little outlying, holiday places.

As we well behaved 29 motorists and passengers, travelled along the edge of the Loch, in an orderly procession to our destinations, "Prat Thing" came roaring up the road at great speed, cutting in and out and causing many drivers to brake hard. He managed to squeeze in front of us and then cut out again, narrowly missing the on- coming traffic. "What a W....r" said DT. I replied, "It would serve him right if his bloody bikes fell off the back of his car, that`d spoil his holiday"

We proceeded along, still, in our orderly procession when, suddenly we were forced to stop; Lo and Behold, a most beautious sight, there, in the middle of the road was a heap of mangled bikes with now "King Sized Prat Thing", desperately trying to scrape them up, to the Jeers, Cheers, and Honking of Horns as we all went by. Not one person stopped to help him. "Retribution", said I, "White Witch", said Darling Trubes, chortling to himself !

This little yarn is dedicated to my dear friend Mr (not for the faint hearted) Hitch, with thanks xx

Saved by the Bell.

2007-09-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

My dear Mama had to have a bowel operation which resulted in her having a Colostomy Bag.
One day, when Darling Trubes and I were visiting her in Hospital ,shortly after her operation, a woman in the opposite bed, who had only one leg, got out of her bed and hopped like fury down the ward to "pay a visit".
The urgency of her "visit" was highlighted by the most enormous farts imaginable, which, of course, she had no control over. The quicker she hopped, the faster and louder the farts became ! This rendered Trubes and I into fits of helpless laughter. As this was early on on our relationship we were barely on "farting terms" let alone Trubes having to share such an intimate moment with his future mother-in-law, who was not amused, which, made us giggle even more ! Mother, who was slightly deaf, then made matters worst by saying, "Oh do excuse me, it`s this damned Colostomy Bag you know! Then, totally changing the subject, said, "Wouldn`t you think (pointing to the one legged flatulent woman) she`d put her leg on before going to the bathroom" ? "Common as muck that one" !
By now poor Trubes was totally helpless with laughter, whilst I was trying to explain to Mama, who the culprit really was ! Fortunately, on cue, the "visitors bell" rang to signal the end of visiting time.
We bade our farewells and dashed toward the door, only to be greeted by the one legged woman, who was hopping back to her bed (without the musical accompaniment) "Tarrah luv", she said, It`s nice to see yous having a laugh with your Mam, yous cheered herrup no end" !

True Blue: AS WELL AS WHAT ?

2007-09-03T13:30:00.000-07:00

True Blue: AS WELL AS WHAT ?

AS WELL AS WHAT ?

2007-09-02T03:01:00.000-07:00

Daughter: "Hi Mama how are you" ?
Mama: "Fine thanks darling, How are you, what are you up to" ?
Daughter: "Just about to watch the Liverpool Match on the tele"
Mama: "Oh that`s nice, (thoughts wandering-feigning interest,
being a "True Blue" an`all, " shame on her for not being
an Evertonian.) "Who are they playing" ?
Daughter: They`re playing Toulouse.
Mama: "What" ?
Daughter: (raising voice) "I said they`re playing Toulouse".
Mama: (also raising voice and showing irritation at daughter`s
perceived rudeness)
"What`s the use in playing, if they`re playing to lose" ?
Daughter: (now shrieking with laughter) "I SAID TOULOUSE, you
know , the French Team" ! God Mama you going deaf as well" ?
Mama: Laughing also, (penny finally dropped and trying to regain parental dignity)" Oh
yes, arn`t I silly" ? "Well do enjoy it, I hope they win" (said through gritted teeth,
as well as being a true blue ,Mama Trubes is an ardent Franchophile !)
(Further thought)
"What does she mean, "Going deaf as well".... "As well as what" ?
Daughter: (still chortling) "Must go Mama, the game`s starting". "Love you" (kisses down
phone).
Mama: "Love you too darling".

Hello to my friends

2007-08-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

This is a"momentuous" moment" for Mama Di, AKA as Trubes ! I think I`m Up and running !
Looking forward to some interesting comments from my Blogging chums !

Testing Testing " Is there anybody there "said the stranger knocking at the door ?